Culo inquieto

Ya han pasado dos años desde que llegamos a California tras un paréntesis de otro año viviendo y trabajando en Madrid. El blog sigue su curso, esta vez más centrado en este "life'changing event" que nos está pasando. Y como siempre (o casi)el blog sigue llegando...¡¡¡EN ESPAÑOL!!! Sumamos y seguimos, y añadimos un nuevo miembro a nuestra familia: Sarita Do-Fernández.

sábado, 17 de septiembre de 2005

Should I stay or Should I go?

Today I saw how Madrid is dressing up for the fall 2005-season. The tress getting rid of leaves, and the few that resist the sharp cold wind blowing, turn more and more brown everytime.
The night falls over its streets sooner than I am used to seeing it. But still, today at 10:30 pm I could make out some white puffy clouds that mingled with needles on rooftops poking the sky; the shadows of gohst trees leaning on facades; the olive trees on Plaza de España cut their silouette against the grey of the stone buildings and the water from the fountain.

While I observed all that I took breaths of cold air that brought tears to my eyes. It might not be that big of a deal for some, for Madrid is not New York, or London, or Tokio or Paris. But Madrid seemed to be talking to me this evening, and it told me not to let go once again; not to forget; not to put down; not to compare;
I understood with two mental pictures in one second that I´d much rather walk along La Castellana for the rest of my life than along the Golden Gate. But I know that is not going to be the choice I make in the end, and I will only be able to take wiffs of this beloved city two times a year: in the cold Christmas time and in the hot, hot, hor summer months, the two times of the year when you can see Madrid with its most and its least people on the streets.

The bus took us further and further from the center, but I could still not hold the tears back. I only have nine months left, and it is starting to feel like they are going to be a painful and long farewell. And I wonder if, being the pain so fresh and so real... am I doing the right thing to leave? I know it is what I am going to do, not so much if it's what I should, though. I am afraid that it will be a decision I might regret for the rest of my life. But then again, how can I know, other than letting time go by and looking back after a while?

viernes, 16 de septiembre de 2005

We move on...

Life goes on in Spain, even in this little town of Villalba. Now that we got wifi DSL internet connection, we feel better, like a huge window opened to the rest of the world. At the same time that makes us nostalgic in some more ways. Like if we were not homesick enough already. But... can I feel homesick when I don't really call CA my home?
I don't know where I am anymore, or where I want to be. It looks like I know though where I am going to be for this year: here, in my beloved Madrid.

I write it, I see it, and I can't still comprehend that I am really here. I wanted this so bad and for so long... and now that it's finally here I can't stop complaining and making plans for when we move back to California.

Yes, we will be moving back there next year. Our situation is no better here than it was before over there; But when we are back in San Jose it will be worse for me, at least workwise. My stupid credential expires the moment I arrive in California, and I guess
I will have to make do with whatever other job I can find. Vinh thinks I can find a gig in a provate school. He is probably right, but it is precisely Los Arboles, the neighbourhood, the kids that I miss. It was really rewarding feeling needed and appreciated by other, which does not happen here much.
The school here or a private school there for that matter cannot bring the substance to teaching I am currently missing.

Time to pin a picture that will illustrate the point of the way where we currently stand. It was actually taken in Prague barely a month ago, when we went there with my parents as a retirement gift for my dad.